INSECURE LEADERSHIP
Leading people is hard work. The reality is that every person leads at some level. The question is not if you are a leader as much as it is, how well are you leading? You cannot lead well from a place of insecurity.
One of the things that amazes me most about many organizations is the epidemic proportions at which insecurity runs through its leadership. If you want to lead for the long haul, your security had better be found in something or someone higher than yourself. For me, my significance comes from living my life in Christ.
Insecure leaders create drama, havoc and pain in the lives of those they lead. Ask yourself if the following is true for you; as I wrote them I found them convicting—and humbling.
What does an insecure leader look like?
1. They surround themselves with people they can control. Insecure leaders hinder their organization because they don’t hire or attract the best people for a job. They attract people who are not as good as they are…people with less experience who can be controlled mentally or emotionally.
2. They misinterpret other people’s motives to fit their story. Insecure leaders have to be right. So they misinterpret what people do and why they do it to make themselves emerge as the hero. When people stand up to insecure leaders, they write them off as jealous or arrogant. Motives get misrepresented so they can be wrong.
3. They look at those who work for them as employees, not their team. Insecure leaders don’t look for the best ideas. They can’t collaborate because they don’t value other people’s opinions. They prefer to forego extended work relationships, because it’s easier to fill your team with disposable cogs rather than friends and teammates you love and trust. They find their identity in how many people work for them rather than how many people they work with.
4. They consider anyone “disloyal” who disagrees with them. Insecure people don’t see people as people; they see them as either on their side or against them. They are the center of all things.
5. They mishandle conflict. Insecure leaders either avoid conflict through passive-aggressive means, or they look at every situation as a potential conflict. They are either too soft and squishy or harsh and uncaring. Secure leaders handle conflict with truth and grace working together, because relationships matter more than being right.
Jesus was the most emotionally secure person who ever lived. He understood who He was, where He was from and where He was going. He had incredible clarity of mission and purpose. Our security as leaders has to come from knowing “Whose” we are.
I love how the Heidelberg Catechism handles the question of where we find our comfort in life and death: We find it in the fact that we are not our own but belong—body and soul—to our faithful Savior Jesus Christ, who has fully paid for all our sins with His precious blood. Any time we place something at the center of our lives besides Him, it will produce insecurity.
Consider these four negative things insecure leaders tell themselves:
· I must know everything about everything – this is a lie straight from the pit of hell. You cannot possible know everything and therefore you place unnecessary pressure on yourself and injure those who follow you in the process. When you come to something you don’t know…admit that you don’t know. You will be surprised by the level of talent that springs up around you because of your honesty. Your honesty gives your team permission to be great and fill the vacuum.
· I must be prominent and lead from the front – this is simply not true either. In 360 Leadership, people may rise up from many different levels of leadership to be the champion in a given situation. This does not diminish the leadership of the leader of record. In fact, it ensures that the team will continue to grow as long as the talent of others are appreciated.
· I must prove myself constantly – This one hits home with most of us. The need to prove to others our worth to the organization may lead to us alienating others who we need to accomplish the mission. We must trust that others see us for who we are and that they value our contributions or we may end up running them off because of our perceived fear.
· My follower’s success is a threat to me – The success of other people is sometimes seen as a failure on the part of the leader in his/her mind. In reality, when people under your leadership succeed it is most often attributed to that leader in some way. The leader should celebrate the victories and accomplishments of their team. It fosters the same sense of loyalty for the team member that the leader appreciates.
You have to ask yourself is crippling your team so that you can always be the hero worth risking your mission? If you think that it is then your leadership is in serious trouble.